Talk:Love–hate relationship

Talk[edit]

This is a ridiculous article. Should something be done to improve it, or should it be deleted? - Montréalais

Should be deleted, IMHO.

Delete

Is there any reason at all that this article deserves to be on Wikipedia? - Manika

KEEEP! 68,100 Google hits can't be wrong. The thing exists in reality and is also depicted in numerous movies.

Your argument is fallicious. Just because the page got 68,100 hits, that doesn't mean the article is good, or that the article is even worth keeping. It just means it's popular. And even though the topic of the article exits in reality, that doesn't mean wikipedia should have an article about it. Nlm1515 13:05, 3 September 2007 (UTC)[reply]

improve yes but not to delete.

Keep! I created a stub from a long not working link in Love and within 24 hours lots of people participated ;-). Now, to the points by other people made here.

Can this page be improved? Certainly, this page have less than one day old.
Is this page really necessery? I've no idea, let's try to improve it and we shall see.
Google test show over 68100 hits for love-hate relationship. Granted, this is usually figuratively meaning (like love-hate relationship with MS Windows), this is however undoubtly a state of human emotion. Some background searching in imdb.com for a love-hate string in imdb's plot descriptions shows some 16 examples, most notable is "Sister, sister" sitcom, describing the love-hate relationship between Lisa and Ray.
1. I personally think that love-hate relationship can be described in fiction as a relationship between Sheperd/Willis in Moonlighthing, Ron/Hermione in Harry Potter series, Gable/Colbert in It Happened One Night. Those examples are of course a positive ones, i.e. leading to future romance.
2. On the other hand love-hate relationships are also those relationships which form in sociopatic situations: examples include abused wife, who does not want to leave her husband claiming that she can change him etc.
3. Sometimes fighting siblings can be described as having a love-hate relationship.
However, love-hate relationship seems to be very broad term. Certainly it one can name sub-emotions of love-hate relationship.
Additional point to consider. Even my Oxford's Learners Dictionary have an entry for love-hate relationship ;-)
See also Love-hate song by Dion & Pavarotti [1]
There is possibility of having more appropriate name for emotions exemplified above. In that case this page can be a redirect to such name.

Przepla 23:06, 2 Dec 2003 (UTC)

No matter how many google hits is has, or how much the term applies to fiction, this article is still an unsourced, POV pile of crap. I think we should delete this entry. Or how about this: Create a wiktionary article for it, and in a few sentances, define "love-hate relationship".

In my opinion, nobody is going to be able to write more than a paragraph of a encyclopedic quality description of "love hate relationships" because the term is so straight forward. Thus, much of the article is either going to be trivia (examples of Love Hate Relationships in books and movies), which wikipedia discourages, or made up explanations of love hate relationships (what the article is now). An exception would be if somebody found some academic research that explores the properties of love hate relationships. Then we might have something to base an article upon.

In the mean time, Im removing some large areas of unsourced statements from the article.Nlm1515 12:55, 3 September 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Love/Hate Relationships in Fiction[edit]

Should Elaine and George of Seinfeld be listed here? I don't think there is any justification for the "hate" part of their relationship.

Moe and Marge?

I don't think the Calvin and Susie from Calvin and Hobbes has much foundation as a love-hate relationship. (sign you're posts!) NeoChrono Ryu 00:27, 1 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Insomuch as the idea of the "love-hate relationship" commonly exists and is discussed and portrayed in works of fiction the subject deserves an article. This article, however, is possibly one of the stupidest articles in all of wikipedia (and I just finished reading though the "Sex moves" category). —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 24.83.169.10 (talk • contribs) 17:37, 16 April 2006 (UTC).[reply]

It definitely deserves an article, but not one that reads like original research, which the following section undoubtedly does (bolding mine to show what makes it OR and not statement of facts, I'll explain how immediately afterward):

A love-hate relationship is between two people who refuse to accept the liking of each other or the enjoyment of one another's presence. The couple usually holds a weak grudge towards one another creating a feud between emotional depression and happily ever after. The relationship is held together by the hatred each person conjures when feeling incomparable to the other's perfection. This anger is the cover up for the "love" part of the relationship because the couple dislikes society's knowledge of the affair. The hate is also powered by the teasing of each person while the frustration reaches its maximum level through the restriction on releasing their sexual tension and intimacy.

The above section says it is this, it is that... no. It's not. "Love-hate relationship" is not a scientific law or well-supported scientific theory. It is an idiom, a linguistic construct used to describe a social or psychological concept ; in other words, it's a concept, or rather, multiple specific concepts that are described using the same idiom. I know that bit I just wrote is redundant, but I feel like saying it again, just as I did for the Mary Sue article: you CANNOT and should not say that something is or is not something that is a subjective term. One person's "love-hate" relationship is another's "passionate romance" or in some cases normal "sibling rivalry", etc.. The term is a description of one or more concepts of emotional states, not a scientific term. Do not say that "love-hate" is or is not something; instead, say can refer to something, "describes" something, etc., because that is the only kind of fact there is about and idiom such as this that describes subjective emotional states.

This, too - argh!:

On the other hand, the relationship may be held together entirely by insecurity; the people in the relationship may believe that (for some reason or another) they are "unable to live without" one another, and knowing no other existence but with each other, choose the certainty of staying together over the risk of leaving. The two people in such a relationship are totally incompatible, but believe that they are both with the best person for themselves that they are going to get.

Again, reeks of original research in lieu of stating the facts about the term. -RW 63.21.32.196 22:37, 28 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

The two quoted passages are not only original research (well, probably) but the first one is almost completely incomprehensible. "...creating a feud between emotional depression and happily ever after." What does that even mean? Call me clueless but the whole latter half of this article needs to be removed. --Bk0 (Talk) 04:47, 2 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Huh? Nice example........[edit]

The article begins as a description of a type of romance, and then its first example of a love-hate relationship is about a person's feelings towards a computer. It sounds like what some parent would say to their inept nerdy son in order to explain a love-hate relationship. I suppose it should be removed or moved downwards in the article, though I can't decide which one is a better edit.--The ikiroid (talk·desk·Advise me) 03:48, 15 June 2006 (UTC)[reply]

List of famous love-hate relationships in fiction[edit]

The section in the article "List of famous love-hate relationships in fiction" is growing far to large, and half of the love-hate relationships aren't famous! I haven't even heard of some of the shows they're from! I suggest a complete clean up of it, only a few, probably around 5-10 (which is still alot) or even just remove the entire thing! UnDeRsCoRe 20:51, 17 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I'm going to delete some of these. Numbah 3 and 4 have a famous love hate relationship? Yeah right. Lionheart08 13:31, 31 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]

This article stinks.[edit]

It's a bunch of unsourced, unverified rambling about vague psychological concepts and relationships. Then a frequently-pared down list of "famous love-hate relationships", most of which aren't actually love-hate relationships as most people think of them.

Most articles linking to this article and using this term mean one of two widely held casual usages of the term:

In reality, enjoying something that also makes you furious at times (computers that crash, beloved cars that break down constantly).
In fiction, a couple with obvious sexual chemistry and attraction, but for usually inconsequential reasons they choose to express it as innuendo-laced and barbed banter. Beatrice and Benedick, Moonlighting, Han and Leia.

Neither of those definitions is really in the article at all. It needs sourced, re-organized and cleaned up. It'd be better off deleted than remaining in this state. MarkovvChaney 12:19, 4 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

um i like it

i think it deserves to be here, unlike alot of other wiki articles it does have alot of er wishy washy nes to it, like most articles are written surgically so maybe thsi would benifit from a more textbook wikitionary approach eg butcher it like the wiki gender projects as they are butchered liek a scotch fillet. and yes to confirm this srticle is stinky fix it i think the love hate relationship neeeds some respect as a everyday occurance. -220.235.188.145 04:30, 20 July 2007

I'll agree this article needs a lot of help. I don't know that I agree with MarkovvChaney's two categories: his second category doesn't even seem to be about actual relationships. -moritheil^Talk 11:34, 27 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

talk of article deletion[edit]

I dont think it should be deleted.I have a love-hate relationship I like this guy he only likes me as a friend which we were in the past I still like him both as a friend and romanticly but somewhat resent him for hurting me--Sweetheart2009 (talk) 00:50, 12 July 2009 (UTC)sweetheart2009[reply]

The argument for deletion isn't that it doesn't happen; it's that it might not belong in an encyclopedia. -moritheil^Talk 11:30, 27 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Major Revisions[edit]

I see two things which need work:

Delete or explain the "obligatory friendship" part (why is it related?)
Delete or heavily edit the "in fiction" part

-moritheil^Talk 04:37, 14 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Is this connected to Love-Hate Relationships?[edit]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsundere —Preceding unsigned comment added by 97.126.193.174 (talk) 08:19, 31 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Poem of Catullus[edit]

There is nothing in the poem "Odi et Amo" of Catullus mentioned under Culture. . .

   I hate and I love. Why do I do this, perhaps you're asking?
   I do not know, but I feel it happen, and I am being tortured to death.

. . . to suggest it is about some sort of love-hate relationship.

I believe the standard reading of this poem is that is simply about the extreme stresses caused by passions of the heart, on both the body and mind.

I suggest removing this example entirely.

much blurry nonsense[edit]

I fetched up here while digging around in W'pedia for something about conflict-habituated relationships, but "conflict habituated" appears exactly ZERO times in the entire vast database.

It's a far better term than "love-hate relationship," which betrays its slick roots. Out in consensus reality, most such relationships are much better characterized as "vague & ill-formed support perpetuated by laziness vs. petty irritation about trivia" — people would rather grouse/grumble than exert any productive effort. Meanwhile, a conflict-habituated relationship is often a game in which (according to transactional analysis) the participants derive a degree of satisfaction from the constant tension, for instance having someone else to share blame upon for their own lack of success.
Weeb Dingle (talk) 18:01, 23 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

ableism against people with NPD and BPD[edit]

Looks like there's some ableism under "psychological roots" & "family and development" Especially referring to people with NPD and BPD as "narcissists" and "borderlines". Unfortunately i have no other way to put it into words but I think this tidbit of text is unnecessary and lacks respect for people with NPD and BPD as real, complex people.

"Narcissists and borderlines have been seen as particularly prone to aggressive reactions towards love objects, not least when issues of self-identity are involved: in extreme instances, hate at the very existence of the other may be the only emotion felt, until love breaks through behind it." 2600:4040:A034:A300:F5:AA7D:CADC:1DDD (talk) 21:51, 6 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]